Synopsis

“On Todd Salazar’s first day of college, while his belongings were still in neatly labeled boxes on the dorm room floor, he had sex with his new roommate Darin.”

From the first line of the first page of Semesters, a loopy, original novel about gay life at a large New England state university during the early ‘90s, it's clear that the people populating this novel certainly are more interesting that those saintly, asexual members of the class of 10 percent portrayed in heterosexual college novels. Set against an era when gay marriage is a pipe dream and being “out” is still a precarious choice, the students of Semesters feel safe enough in their campus microcosm to be Here and Queer—so get used to it! They have sex, do drugs, have sex again, make all the wrong decisions, wage war against their conservative enemies, bum cigarettes, have more sex, all the while struggling with questions universal to young Americans. The writing is breezy and the drama generous. You'll encounter scandalous revelations, parties out of bounds, back stabbing, and an unforgettable, topsy-turvy final confrontation. Has it been mentioned that there is sex? Lots of it!

The protagonists are three gay men: BEN BRISTOL, the transfer student looking for sex or love, whichever comes first, TODD SALAZAR, the freshman who already has quite the track record but is looking for new conquests, and DARIN BURKETT, Todd’s whiny and underhanded first semester roommate, the self-appointed perpetual victim.

Ben Bristol is the heart of the novel. After two years of living closeted at home and attending a local community college to save money, Ben has high expectations for his junior year. But despite having a hot, straight British roommate who has a habit of walking around in his underwear, Ben’s only affections are from a fedora-wearing Trekker named EDGAR whom he met during orientation. Undeterred, Ben joins the University Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Alliance (UGLBA), writes a column for a newsletter, and falls hard for a guy who barely knows he exists—and that’s only in the first month of school. We follow the uninitiated Ben as he discovers the thrill of off-campus parties, drinks bad sangria and goes to the UGLBA-sponsored dances. Finally an active member of a gay community is Ben happy? And what if his quest for love ends with Ben in the arms of somebody he’d never expected?

Among Ben’s new college friends are: JULIA, a fellow member of the UGLBA whose claims of bisexuality are suspect; JEREMY and ARTURO, who are at a crisis point in their relationship, which Arturo relieves by hitting on other men in front of Jeremy, oblivious to Jeremy’s growing attraction to a sexy TA; TOBE, the self-appointed DJ who plays music nobody requests and refuses to wear weight-appropriate clothing; and TERRI, the beleaguered leader of the UGLBA who discovers her ex-girlfriend is in an abusive relationship and finds herself thrust into a brutal life or death situation.

Countering Ben’s cautious and naive romantic tendencies, Todd Salazar is all magnetic sexual appeal. Todd can’t help but oblige the men who line up the moment he steps on campus in September. In addition to sleeping with his roommate, Darin, Todd seduces super-senior RICHARD, who already has a boyfriend. No matter. After Richard, there’s KIRK, a golden boy from California, who has his own apartment. But Todd is carrying a dark secret about a taboo relationship he had over the summer. There’s a problem with secrets, though ... they have a funny way of being exposed at just the wrong times.

And then there’s Darin Burkett, a weaselly freshman from the suburbs of Boston not thrilled to be stuck in a provincial western Massachusetts state school. The relationship between roommates Darin and Todd, at first full of passion, quickly dissolves as Darin’s inconsiderate habits drive anal retentive Todd crazy; Darin doesn’t make his bed, breaks Todd’s lamp [gasp!], smokes in the dorm room, and has people in at all hours, notably MARIA, the cynical fellow UGLBA member who lives down the hall. Together, Darin and Maria bring their own half-baked brand of stoner politics to a campus that Darin feels is too complacent. Eventually Darin takes up with the mysterious revolutionary and begins a prank campaign against the Young Conservatives Club. Darin also manages to acquire a boyfriend, the sexy LARS, a former swim team member with a great tan line who doesn’t seem to know why he's dating Darin. Tensions between Darin and Todd explode into a nasty fist fight which ends the first semester with a bang and sets the tone for an even larger confrontation just before Spring Break, the ramifications of which send shock waves through the campus.

So take a study break, wring out your wet Speedo and grab a cup of coffee and peanut butter chocolate chip cookie at the Blue Book Café. Semesters demonstrates how much fun college can be when you’re not attending class.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Chapter 7: Welcome to the UGLBA

The University Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Alliance (UGLBA) Welcomes You
“Thanks for deciding to come back," Ryan Gibson said. “Did you fall in?”
Macon Brigham looked at Ryan blankly for a moment. “What?”
“You said you were going to the bathroom,” Ryan said.
“I did,” Macon said. “And now I’m back.”
“You were gone for an hour and a half,” Ryan said.
“I was?” Macon asked.  He was quiet for a moment. “I wonder where I went.”
“Never mind,” Ryan said. Thank god this shift is over in an hour.
It wasn't entirely Macon’s fault.  Macon had been in a terrible car accident several years back and had suffered damage to his short-term memory.  That was terrible, and Ryan did feel for him.  The annoying thing was that Macon constantly volunteered for things, like sitting at the UGLBA welcome table, and would forget what he was doing halfway through the shift.  Even Terri Friedmann, UGLBA steering-committee head and probably the most tolerant person in the group, had lost her patience with Macon.
Despite Macon not being Ryan’s company of choice, it was good to have another person alongside him.  Ryan didn’t enjoy being alone among all the other student groups with all the gay, lesbian, bisexual, whatever literature on the table.  Not that his fears were founded; Ryan had been at the UGLBA - the “b” for bisexual had just been added the previous Fall- table on the Campus Center Concourse since nine a.m. and aside from double takes, mainly by parents, nobody had stopped by the table either to harass or inquire.  Nobody.   Some people in the UGLBA argued against having the table at all, as most students who did end up in the group found their own way to the office in the Student Union rather than from the welcome table, but Terri insisted the table be out at the start of every semester.
Macon was singing to himself under his breath.  Ryan ignored him and picked at his calluses when a skinny, auburn-haired woman walked up.
“Oh, this is won-der-ful,” she said. “If you guys looked any more enthused, I’d order a coffin.” She held out her hand. “Hello, Ryan darling.”
Ryan took her hand.  “Hey, Julia.” 
Julia Wood.  Some people in the UGLBA thought Julia was hysterical; others couldn’t stand her. Ryan was somewhere in-between.
Macon smiled weakly up at Julia.  Today was one of his bad days:  he didn’t recognize her.
Julia leaned over and straightened out the brochures. “Can’t you fags even keep things organized?” she admonished. “Any fresh meat this year?”
“Nobody,” Ryan said. “What’d you expect?”
“We need more of a hook,” Julia said. “Go-go dancers …something. Maybe I’ll just stand here and wave them over.”  She picked up on the fliers printed on pine green paper. “But not with these.  These are pathetic.  The ski club has more enticing literature”
“Student Affairs nixed Tobe’s fliers as being too racy, and he was so pissed that he refused to make a new one,” Ryan said. “Terri had to make these in a jam with the paper on hand.”
 “Well gee; I wonder why Tobe’s design of a guy giving another guy head was rejected.”  Julia crumpled the flier up and tossed it over her shoulder.  It fell in front of a set of parents. 
“Litterbug,” Ryan said. “You couldn’t see anything on the flier. It was all implied.  Student Affairs is a bunch of sex-negative prudes.” 
“Don’t repeat everything Tobe tells you,” Julia said.  The former Toby Beals, film major extraordinaire who had yet to make even a short, insisted that his name be spelled with an ‘e’ after he saw “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” yet had managed to convince only Ryan that it had always been spelled that way.  “What do you think about the fliers, Macon?”
“Hmmm?” 
“Exactly.”  Julia looked around. “For fabulous trendsetters, we are way uninviting. Drab colors.  Unimaginatively presented. Good god, these are even worse.”  She reached for a pamphlet with Newsletter for the Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Community in a bold, dark font. “Did some queen hooked to a morphine drip on his deathbed design this?” 
“Ouch,” Ryan said. “Not funny.”
“I didn’t say he had AIDS.  People do die of other things,” Julia said. “Sabra needs somebody to spiffy up this newsletter.” She took a handful of the ugly green fliers and shoved them into her purse. “Well boys, I’d love to chat all day but I’ve got things to do.  Keep up the good work.”
Ryan wanted to leave with Julia, but abandoning Macon at the table wasn’t a good idea.  Instead, he went back to his calluses. 
A big guy glanced at the banner as he walked by, then backed up.  He looked like either a football player or a frat boy.  He studied the literature on the table. “When do you have meetings?” the guy asked, looking at Macon.  Macon didn’t say anything.
Ryan jumped in. “Usually whenever we have a meeting we post it over there by the elevators.”  The guy looked over at the elevator bank as if expecting to see something. “Often it’s every Friday.” 
“Cool,” the guy said.  He picked up one of the ugly fliers and a newsletter. “I can take these, right?” he asked.  He looked nervous.
Ryan nodded. “Take what you want.  We have plenty.”
The guy shoved them in his back pocket. “Thanks,” he said. “Thanks so much.”
 “No problem,” Ryan said.  The guy backed up a few feet, then turned around and melted back into the crowd.
“Wow,” Macon said.
“Frat initiation joke,” Ryan said. “I hate those guys.” Now they’d have to be on alert for a bunch of assholes crashing their events as some hazing ritual.  Ryan considered suggesting they change their meeting dates.
“We’ll see him again,” Macon said.  He sounded lucid for the first time that day.
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