Chapter 18: Hit Me with Your Best Shot

Hit Me with Your Best Shot

“Do you think if I wrinkle Todd’s sheets, he’ll yell at you?” Lars asked. 

Todd made his bed every morning before going to class, and inspected it when he came home, a habit Darin found bizarre.  Todd even stacked his loose change into neat piles on his desk.  Meanwhile, Darin threw his clothes into the corner rather than buy a hamper.  There was a new lamp on Todd’s desk, but it wasn’t ugly as the first one.

“If Todd’s sheets get wrinkled, he’ll live.  Just don’t drop any ash onto his bed or I will get shit for it,” Darin said. “What was that line from that movie, Ferris Bueller … he’s so tight …” Darin shoved wet towel under the doorway in case Min came by on a walk-through.  That was unlikely since Min hadn’t been visible since the second week of classes. 

“Man, I can’t fucking remember.  I’ve been smoking all day.  I didn’t even go to classes today and I’m still tired.”

Darin looked at Lars out on the bed. He had no idea how he got so lucky, but Lars was the one who’d approached him that night outside the dining hall.  They’d talked for ten minutes before Darin had realized Lars was hitting on him, and then went back to Lars’s dorm in the Webster area.  Darin hadn’t learned much more about him in the days following, just the most general details:  Lars was from Athol, had once been on the swim team, was a French major and gorgeous.

Lars had spent most of the summer swimming and tanning and he had a perfect Speedo tan line, so it was odd that he told Darin he wouldn’t be swimming this year.  One night, Darin had made Lars strip down to his Speedo and despite Lars’ initial protestations; they had a great time role playing.   Lars was a lot more fun in bed than Todd.

Lars lifted his arm to take another toke; he was shirtless and every muscle on his torso moved when he did that.  Darin got hard watching him.  He walked over and started feeling Lars’ crotch which, despite the pot, was stiff. 

“Man, not when I’m smoking,” Lars said. “Wait until I’m done.”

“Come on,” Darin pleaded.   He bent over and licked the front of Lars’ jeans.  Lars didn’t say anything, but Darin could feel him inhale deeply and that wasn’t from the joint. 

Darin undid Lars’ top button, revealing his white briefs.  Thankfully, they were clean.  You could never tell how long Lars had been wearing his underwear, but that was part of what Darin liked about him.  He pulled Lars pants down to his knees.  Lars had trimmed his pubic hair.  Darin preferred unshaven like Todd, but he wasn’t going to quibble when the pants were off.  Darin slowly licked Lars’s balls feeling them contract.  He put them in his mouth and started sucking on them.

“Oh fuck…” he heard Lars whisper. Darin let the balls go and started on Lars’ cock.  Darin teased the head of Lars cock for a second, and then slipped the entire penis in his mouth. 

Oh shit, is the door locked? Todd never came home before midnight anymore, but this would be the one day he did.

Lars was breathing heavily now, and Darin glided his mouth up and down Lars’ cock.  Darin had undone his own zipper and was stroking his dick with his free hand.  Lars raised his hips off the bed, moaning and grunting and, Darin noted, still smoking  

“Fuck… oh fuck … fuck … oh shit!” Lars sat up and Darin fell forward, bumping his head against the bed frame. 

“Goddamit, what the hell?” Darin asked.   Lars was batting at the bed.  At first Darin thought Lars was having a seizure. What did you do if that happens to somebody you’re with? “What’s wrong?”

 “I dropped the joint.  Look.” Lars picked Todd’s pillow up and handed it to Darin.  There was a small brown hole on the pillowcase.

Darin sat back on his haunches. “Oh, just great.”

Chapter 17: Egg Toss

Egg Toss

Sabra Gould didn’t notice that the Diversity Center had been egged until she got up to the front steps.  She looked around as though the perpetrators were hiding somewhere, but that was ridiculous.  This was definitely a middle of the night prank.

“Fucking assholes,” she muttered. Not  9 a.m. and I’m already pissed off.

She put down the two heavy boxes containing the October newsletter she’d been carrying and fumbled in her jeans pocket for her keys.  College students or not,  Dickinson residents or not, ignorance was no excuse for this happening again.  Since the Center had been established in this residential area, there had been broken windows, nasty phone calls, most of it originating from drunken frat boys but there were never any witnesses.  The attacks were often on weekends, and were never discovered until much later, usually by Sabra. 

“There’s nothing we can do except report it,” the campus cop had said the day the overhead window above the couch in the main room had been kicked in. The cop appeared uncomfortable and once he looked around, he went back and stood in the doorway. “We’ll never be able to find whoever did it.”

“But this isn’t the first time,” Sabra said.

“That’s not a homophobic incident, most likely,” the cop had said. “The sidewalk is up the slope from here. That just looks like a basement window from where they walk by, they most likely kicked it in because it was there. Drunken antics.”  It may not have been a homophobic incident, but the problem was that the cops downplayed everything.  They may as well have been on the side of the aggressors.  What the fuck, it’s a state school, Sabra thought, it's not like any rich parents were withholding endowments in lieu of things being swept under the rug.

A report was completed, the glass was replaced, the University “looked into it” and that was it. 

Sabra wouldn’t call the cops about the egging; they didn’t respond kindly to calls about events of this small magnitude.   Sandy the grouchy maintenance woman could clean up the egg when she came to empty the wastebaskets at noon. Sandy wouldn’t be happy but unlike the cops, Sandy on occasion showed a little bit of sympathy.  

Sabra opened the front door to the office slowly.  There was no draft of air; nothing was open or broken but the sliding patio doors had all been egged as well, every last one.   If somebody had been at the office when it happened, they could have recorded it in the incident book.  Sabra had created the book herself and encouraged any students to report homophobic encounters in it.  The incidents recorded were one more thing for the end of year report Sabra would submit to prove the campus was a hostile environment, and that it was necessary to give the Center more funding in the next go-round.

Two minutes past nine.  Another day.  Turn on the coffeemaker, turn on the lights, put lunch in the fridge, and get it together without losing your mind. 

Shit, I left the boxes on the steps.

She walked out of the small kitchenette and jumped. Somebody was standing outside on the patio.  It was Julia Wood. 

Sabra pushed the eggy glass door open. “Why are you standing out here?”

Julia slid in past Sabra. “I forgot my key and nobody ever hears me when I knock on the door,” she said, throwing her bag in the nearest chair.  Julia walked into the kitchen and opened the top cabinet looking for teabags. “That’s a nice present they left for us out there.”

“You didn’t lose your key did you?”

Julia pulled out a box and put in on the counter. “No, I just misplaced it.  I’ll find it.  Do you think we’ll have time to talk about the newsletter today?” 

Julia had been hired last week; admitting in the interview that it was only the third time she’d ever come over to the Center, but she wanted to use her work study money for the undergraduate PR job.  Basically, PR for the Center amounted to working on the newsletter.  Carlos, a grad student getting his MFA, handled most of the press releases when he wasn’t hung over.

 “I don’t know, maybe this afternoon,” Sabra said. “There’s a new work study student named Ben starting later this morning that I need to train. Do you know him?”

 “Tall guy?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty tall.  If you’re here when he arrives, welcome him, don’t scare him off…”

Julia looked mock offended. “Never!” she said. “And then will you have time to sit down with me?”

“Maybe,” Sabra said.  “I have a lot of things to get together.”

“How many undergrads are you going to hire?”

Sabra shrugged. “You, Macon Brigham and Ben.  I think that’s it. I don’t have to pay you, so it doesn’t matter to me.”   And thank god. Undergrads were just a waste of time anyway, but it was good to pass the shit-work off on them.

Sabra went out to get the boxes. When she came back in, Julia was on the phone at the front desk.  Sabra deposited the boxes on the desk. “Thanks for the help.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Julia picked up the newsletter and looked at it frowning.

“So, do you think you can do a better job on that this year?”

“Oh definitely,” Julia said. “It’ll be like going from a church bulletin to The New Yorker.”

Sabra, who had been producing the newsletter from the start, glared at her. 

Cocky bitch.

Encounter at The Blue Book

“Todd, right?”  Ben something-or-other stood by the table holding a cup of coffee and his bright red backpack. 

“Yes,” Todd said, not thrilled at being interrupted. “And you’re Ben?”

“Yeah.  I’ve been seeing you everywhere,” Ben said. “So I wanted to introduce myself.”  Ben stood there smiling, waiting for the invite to sit down. 

Todd sighed inwardly.   So much for being alone.  “Sit down if you want,” Todd said. “I’m just studying.  I have a big test.”  Which was a lie. 

Ben threw his backpack in an empty chair.  The table wiggled and the coffee splashed out of Ben’s cup onto the table. “Damn,” Ben said. “Do you have an extra napkin?”

Todd handed him one.

“Hot chocolate,” Ben explained. “I’m too much of a wimp for coffee.”

 “Keeps you up?” Todd asked.

“That and I just never acquired a taste for it,” Ben said. “If I’m bothering you I’ll leave. I just wanted to say hi.”

Todd looked at him again.  Ben seemed normal enough.  Plus, Darin was the only person he’d gotten to know so far, and that was already going to shit.  Time to meet new people.

“No, go ahead, stay,” Todd said. “I’ll be here for a while anyway.”  He pushed his book to the side.  He’d been trying to write a sentence for the last ten minutes and he still couldn’t make it sound right. “You’re new here too, right?  It’s big, huh?”

“It’s not as big as I’d expected it to be,” Ben said. “Just different. I transferred here from another school. I’ve been coming here to the Blue Book at night to be around people.  The dorm room is suffocating.”

“Oh god, you don’t know suffocation until you’ve been in my room,” Todd said.

“How so?”

“It’s a long story.”

 “You’re roommates with Darin?” Ben asked. “You don’t get along?”

“It’s not a good sign when it’s not yet October and I’m ready to kill him.  I’ve tried to do something about the situation but nothing’s helped.”  

“What’s he done?”

“Do you want a list?”

Ben sat back with a puzzled expression. “I thought you guys were boyfriends.”

Todd sighed. “No, we fooled around but we weren’t boyfriends.  I’m beginning to regret I ever did anything with him.  Does everybody think that?”  That would make the next coffee social uncomfortable.

“I haven’t taken a survey, but people know you hooked up.”

“Great.” Word had traveled. “No, we’re definitely not boyfriends.  I don’t think we’re even friends.”

Ben shook his head. “How they can expect people to get along in a room the size of a postage stamp is something only they know.”

 “I’m glad I’m not going out with him anyway,” Todd said. “There are too many cute guys here.”

“At school or here at the Blue Book?”

“Both, don’t you think so?”

“Yeah … yeah,” Ben said. “And I can’t believe I’m talking about it so openly with somebody.  I’m still new at all this stuff.  I got a job at the Center as the staff librarian.  It sounds better than it is.”

“They have a library there?”

“Small one,” Ben said. “But it’s good.  You should check it out.”

 “Maybe.  I’m new to all of this too,” Todd said. “For the most part.”  Do family members count?

Ben glanced over at what Todd was working on; it didn’t look like an assignment, but a letter.  There was an addressed envelope half-hidden under a notebook but Ben made out the city.

It was addressed to Buffalo.

Chapter 16: Stalked!

Have You Seen This Man?

“You have a note,” Cedrick told Ben as they passed one another in front of the dorm on the following Wednesday. “I left it on your bed.”

“A note?”

“Some bloke came by asking for you and left a note.”

“Did he say what his name was?  What did he look like?”  Ben envisioned a handsome stranger inquiring about him.  Maybe it was Jeremy.  Jeremy wasn't a stranger, but the thought of Jeremy coming to look for him made Ben’s stomach leap.  Still, that probably wasn’t the case.

 “He had a beard and was wearing a hat.  It’s deadly out today and he had a fuckin’ hat on,” Cedrick said. “Looked at me like he wanted to eat me.”

Oh no. 

#

The note was lying on the bed, just as Cedrick had told him it would be:

Ben,

It’s Edgar from up in Hillside.  There are a lot more Ben’s in Northeast than I thought there would be. Was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime?  Call me at 5-6745.

Edgar

Ben was on the phone to Dave within two minutes

“He knocked on every fucking door in the entire residential area looking for me,” Ben told him. “Can you imagine?” 

“Aren’t you flattered?” Dave asked. “I mean, you were hoping to meet somebody and they’re throwing themselves at you in the second week.”

“Ha.  I’d be flattered if he was hot,” Ben said. “This is creepy.  I don’t care if I sound like an asshole.”

“Well, you’ve been talking about meeting a guy for years now, so here’s your chance.” Dave said. 

 “Ha ha.  I don’t want to be mean to the guy, but I’m just not interested,” Ben said. “I’ll hide in my room.”

 “That’s a mature reaction,” Dave said. “Come on, you’re saying you wouldn’t want to …”

“No.” 

 “All right,” Dave said. “But what if this ends up being the only opportunity you get?”

“I’ll take the chance,” Ben said.

Stormy Weather

Todd arrived home from class to find the lamp broken in two, lying on the floor.  Darin was sitting at his own desk, still in his bathrobe.

“Sorry about that,” Darin said. “I knocked it over by accident this morning.” 

The lamp had been set back on the desk.  There was no way Darin could have accidentally knocked it down.  And why was Darin still in his bathrobe? It was five o’clock. He must have spent another day blowing off classes.  Darin had dropped or rescheduled classes so that he wouldn’t have to get up before ten, but he still managed to miss several.  Some days, Todd had come home after lunch and Darin would still be asleep. 

“Could you maybe reimburse me for it?” Todd asked. “And clean it up?”

Darin snorted. “Yeah, like I have any money. You said it was cheap, you can get a new one.” Darin picked up a cigarette.  He’d started smoking not long after meeting Maria, and now the stink of Marlboro’s never left the room.  Some nights Maria and Darin would sit and smoke for hours, despite Todd asking them not to smoke in the room.  Todd found Maria hilarious at first but after a while, she got on his nerves.  She laughed too loud, blew her smoke around, and complained about everything.  It got old quick. 

Maria’s boyfriend Cedrick sometimes joined them, but he wasn't bad.  He just sat there quietly while Maria held court; Todd was surprised that Cedrick could put up with Maria. On the nights would Todd would come in late from studying and find them all gathered on his side of the room as  Darin’s side of the room was a mess and nearly uninhabitable.   Cedrick was the only one who was ever apologetic. 

Todd started studying at the Blue Book Café in the Campus Center to escape from the evening antics.  He told Darin he didn’t want anybody sitting on his bed. 

“You need to loosen up,” Darin said.

“No, you need to learn that two people live here,” Todd said before going off to brush his teeth. 

Min the RA had been no help. Min said there were no rooms available and nobody wanted to switch.  Todd and Darin were stuck together for the semester and that was that.

Thanks for nothing, Min. 

Todd and Darin had stopped fooling around, which was fine because Darin no longer turned him on; he’d had to fantasize about Craig the last few times they’d had sex.  Darin had appeared one day with a new guy; a tall, good looking dirty blond with tan skin and hazel eyes named Lars who looked confused as to what he was doing there. Nevertheless, now Lars was there nearly every night of the week.  Todd was relieved that Darin had found somebody new to play with, but was also a little jealous because Lars was hot.  He had no idea what Lars saw in Darin.  Darin who had just broken his lamp.

“Come on, it was a lamp,” Darin said.  “You can’t have been that attached to it.  This isn’t ‘A Christmas Story.’” 

Todd opened the window.  The glass was smudged with fingerprints; something he'd have to clean later.  Darin made a mess out of everything.

“Close it.  It’s too cold out,” Darin said.

“It’s nearly 70 today,” Todd said.  “It’s been like this for a week.”

“Well, it’s too cold when you open the windows in the morning.  I always have to get up and shut them.”

Maybe if you ever bothered going to class, you wouldn’t be cold because you wouldn’t be here. 

Darin made no move to pick up the lamp, so Todd waited a while until Darin left for dinner and then cleaned it up himself.  Then he made Darin’s bed and cleaned the window.  The room finally appeared somewhat decent.

#

“Where’s stone face tonight?” Maria asked, interrupting her story about living in The Bronx.

“Who cares,” Darin said. “He’s my roommate, not my friend.”

“That’s too bad,” Maria said. “Roommates suck.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t be here all the time,” Lars said, speaking up for the first time all evening. “It is partly his room. I don’t have a roommate, and neither does Maria.”

“No way,” Maria said. “Todd has to learn to share.  I’ll bet he’s an only child.”  So was she, but this wasn't about her.

“I don’t want to talk about Todd, or his lamp or anything else,” Darin said. “New subject, please.”

Chapter 15: Coffee Talk

She

Since the incident with the milk, she'd been sure to check it every day.  If the carton was less than a quarter full, she’d buy a new one.  No point in going through that nonsense again.  But since the milk situation was resolved, there were still other things that she’d done wrong.  Nothing was ever right in the apartment.

Just this evening, as she’d been doing the dishes, making sure everything was perfectly clean, the door had slammed.  That signaled that something had gotten their nose out of joint.  She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer, even though she hadn’t prayed in years.

“School’s open,” they said when they came into the kitchen.  She didn’t look up, just concentrated on the dishes. “You’re not going to head over there and see everybody, are you?”

Great.

“No,” she said. “I’m not.”

“Because if you did, there’d be a problem.”

“I don’t have any plans to go there.”

“Okay.  I just wanted to make sure.”  They stomped out of the kitchen, leaving her alone again..

She looked out the window over the sink.  Only a thin screen separated her from the street, but they were on the second floor, and it was a high second floor.  Not that it mattered.  Any escape, no matter how dangerous, was preferable.

Coffee Talk

“See that dumpy girl over there?” Maria Levett took Darin Burkett by the shoulder and pointed to a heavyset girl with long, black ropy hair and a nose ring. “That’s Ada. She doesn’t go to school here, she attends Alden High but she hangs out here more than she goes to school.  She’s an emancipated minor and her toenails are all fungussy. We call her the spooky girl. Don’t talk to her.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Darin said.

The first person Darin ran into at the coffee social was Maria. They recognized one another from the floor meeting; Maria took it upon herself to show him around. 

“I have no idea who the fuck that is,” Maria said, gesturing at a tall guy sitting quietly in the corner. “New guy, I guess.  That couple over there – the woman who’s tall as an Amazon and big as a planet and the short guy next to her?  That’s Karen and Bug.  They’re a couple, but they ‘play.’” 

“Play?”

“Yeah, if they ask you, just decline,” Maria warned. “Others haven’t been as lucky.  When’s your roommate coming?”

“In a minute, I guess” Darin said. 

“That’s so wild about you two.”

Julia Wood sauntered over.  “Corrupting them so early?” she asked.   Julia’s hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail.  It drew attention to her angular jaw, Maria noted.  Very unflattering.

“Never too early,” Maria said. “Julia, this is Darin, who also lives in my dorm; my fucking, non-smoking, fucking dorm.   He’s had an adventure or two already.  Wait until he tells you…”

“Hello, Darin. Freshman?” Julia interrupted. “Or do they make you call yourselves first-year students now?”

Darin nodded.  “I’m brand new.”

“Welcome to the Happy Valley,” she turned to Maria. “Do you have a cigarette?”

“You’re going to start getting your own my dear, I’m running out.”

Maria had smoked more than her usual allotment last night after bringing Cedrick back to her room. They spent half the night fucking on the floor.  It was best sex she’d had in a while.  After that, they’d gone through an entire pack of cigarettes.  One of her suitemates- the ever annoying Krista - had complained to her about the smell this morning.

Todd walked in, carrying his book bag over his shoulder.  His face was red as he made a beeline for Darin.  “What the hell?” Todd said. “I waited fifteen minutes for you at the elevator.”

“Sorry,” Darin answered. “I just wanted to get up here.  Maria, this is Todd.  My roommate.” 

Maria’s eyes lit up. “Ah, this is your little fuck buddy.  I should have realized he was your roommate.”  Maria gave Todd a wink.

Todd’s smile stayed on his face longer than seemed natural. Maria didn’t notice; she’d turned away and directed Darin’s attention across the room to two men who were now talking to the guy in the corner.

“That’s Jeremy and Arturo. Jeremy’s boring and Arturo’s a total sleaze.  He thinks that being loyal to Jeremy means not sleeping with anybody else, so he feels every guy up instead.  I still don’t know who that guy in the chair is and I usually know everybody.” Maria sighed. “I’ve been at this school too damn long.  Do you smoke?”

Darin shook his head.

“Come on out to the hall with me anyway,” she grabbed Darin by his forearm and steered him out of the room.  Darin gave Todd a half wave as he exited.

Todd ended up alone in the middle of the room.

#

“This is the worst lemonade I’ve ever had,” Ben said.

“The coffee’s worse; it’s a tradition,” Jeremy said. “I’m glad you showed up.  Refresh my memory, you’re from Litchfield?”

“Springfield,” Ben answered.

“I’ve never been to Springfield,” Jeremy said.

“There’s no reason to go.” Jeremy’s crotch was at Ben’s eye-level.  Jeremy wore Lycra running shorts and from what Ben could make out, no underwear. Ben thought it was a little tacky but at the same time, it turned him on.

Arturo wandered away. 

Ben had arrived at the coffee social promptly at three.  That had been a mistake.  He’d been the third to arrive.  Two women, one with a short, asymmetrical haircut and the other shaved nearly bald were standing by the windows, chatting quietly.  They gave Ben a polite smile, and then resumed their conversation. 

The guy with the pompadour from the dining hall had walked in with Ryan and Richard a few minutes after.

I’m not surprised to see HIM at a gathering like this, Ben thought before catching himself: he was also at a gathering “like this.”  Pompadour guy’s name was Tobe Beals, and from what Ben could see, Tobe loved attention.  Tobe and Julia had done an impromptu waltz around the room when she arrived.

Fascinated by the stream of arrivals, Ben hadn’t been paying attention and spilled lemonade down the front of his shirt.  Nobody noticed, but Ben exiled himself to a chair over in the corner where he stayed until Jeremy and Arturo had shown up.

 “How long have you been with Arturo?”  Ben had never asked a guy about his boyfriend before. 

“I’d been here for two weeks my freshman year when we met; that’s two years so far,” Jeremy said. “It’s worked out well.” 

Lucky you.

Arturo came back with his arm around the shoulders of an extremely cute kid with brown hair and dark brown eyes. The guy was so impeccably dressed and neat that his jeans had a crease in them.  Ben noted his own shirt was still wet with lemonade, and was glad it was a dark fabric so nothing would show.

#

“I’ve found another one,” Arturo said. “This is Todd.” 

Todd looked lost.   Ben noticed Arturo’s hand was placed down low Todd’s back, but Jeremy didn’t appear to care.  Once Jeremy and Arturo turned their attention to Todd, Ben was forgotten.  He decided to wander. 

The room was full.  Last night’s gathering had been puny in comparison.  Near the windows sat somebody who didn’t look fully male or female.  At first Ben had assumed it was a lesbian, but after getting a second look he thought maybe it was a guy.  He moved closer to see if he could hear the person’s voice and figure it out.

“Ben.”

Ben turned around.  The first thing he saw was a fedora, then the guy wearing a beard underneath it.

Edgar.

Edgar was here, in the room, wearing what looked like the same beat up outfit he’d been sporting at orientation.

 God, that hat must stink.

“Hey,” Ben said.

“So, here we are,” Edgar said. “I was wondering if I’d run into you.” 

“Surprise,” Ben said.

“How are you finding life here so far?”

“It’s a little boring, to be honest,” Ben said. “But it’s the first week, so you know how it is.  Where did you end up getting housing?” 

“I got stuck way up the hill in Hillside,” Edgar said. “It’s not so bad, my roommate says he works every weekend and goes home a lot.  What about you?”

“Northeast,” Ben said. “My roommate’s from England and leaves food out all over the place but if that’s the worst of it, it’s okay.”  The Star Trek insignia pin was still on Edgar’s lapel, next to his pink triangle button.  

They stood there for a moment, nodding at one another.

Don’t ask me out, Ben prayed.

Edgar looked at his watch.

“I need to catch a bus, it’s been good to see you,” Edgar said. “Take care.”

“You too, Edgar,” Ben said, grateful that he’d stopped himself from telling Edgar the name of the dorm.  Ben turned back to the room. 

So many people yet to know.

Ben walked over to Tobe, who was standing by the door and looking down the hallway with an anxious look.  He was still wearing the large silver ring necklace.

“Seen any blue-haired girls lately?” Ben asked.

Tobe gave him a funny look. “Excuse me?”

“The girl outside the dining hall, with the blue hair…”

“Who?” 

Ben was losing him. “Yesterday…” he said

“Oh, that girl,” Tobe said. “Yeah, I remember her.  Sorry, I’m not myself today.  I’m waiting for somebody who’s late.” Tobe sighed.  “What’s your name?”

“Ben.”

“Nice to meet you, Ben,” Tobe said. “I’m sure we’ll talk again soon.”  He turned away and looked down the hallway again.

Dismissed.

#

The room started to empty out around 4:30.  Maria and Darin sat in the smoking area, watching people head for the elevators.

“I’m starving.  Are you on the meal plan?” Maria asked.

“Two meals a day,” Darin said. “I don’t know if I’d be able to eat more than that.”

“Some cafeterias have better food than others.  Avoid the Oak Room; all they have at night is ‘pastabilities’ and it’s just sauce out of can.  The Veggie cafeteria is a no-no. We’ll go to the Barracks after I finish this,” Maria said. “Should we ask your roommate?”

“No. Todd can do his own thing for dinner,” Darin said.

“I think it’s so wild that you hooked up with your roommate,” Maria said. “That could only happen here.”

“He’s growing clingy,” Darin said. “It’s annoying.”

Todd wasn’t clingy, but Darin didn’t want him joining them. Todd could find his own friends.

An attractive woman with blonde hair walked by.  Maria stared after her. “That’s Colleen.  We dated for a month last semester.  She’s no longer talking to me.”

“Who are you dating now?” Darin asked.

Maria exhaled. “Nobody, though I did somebody last night,” she looked down the hallway.  “Okay, Colleen’s gone, let’s go.” She grabbed her purse. “You sure you don’t want to ask your roommate?”

“No,” Darin said. “Let’s go.”

The elevator doors opened, and a short woman with a brightly-colored kerchief over her head rushed out. “God, I can’t believe I’m so late,” she said, out of breath. “Is anybody left in there, Maria?”

“A few,” Maria said. “But the cool people are leaving.  See you later.”

The woman ran down the hall, her backpack bouncing behind her.

“That’s Terri Friedmann, the head of the UGLBA steering committee,” Maria said. “She’s going to be late to her own funeral.”

Chapter 14: The Gathering

The Gathering

The group at the Center had been small, maybe fifteen people total.  Ben wondered if this was the total amount of out people on campus. When he’d walked into the office, Ryan had started introducing him around.  There was a guy in Lycra shorts named Jeremy who was there with his boyfriend Arturo. They were the first gay couple Ben ever met.  Ryan moved Ben on across the room to a handsome guy sitting on a couch talking to a woman with a big nose and wearing a large, flowered hat.

“Richard, this is Ben,” Ryan said. “He’s new…”

Richard barely smiled. Ben stuck out his hand.  They shook.

Weak handshake.

“And this is Julia.” 

Julia looked up from her reclined position. Her ridiculous hat obscured her eyes. “Hello Ben,” Julia said. “Freshman?”

“Junior,” Ben said. “I transferred.” 

Julia nodded, then turned back to Richard.  Ben drifted over to Jeremy and Arturo and sat with them for the duration of the movie.

Once the movie was over, the room emptied so quickly that Ben didn’t have time to introduce himself to anybody else. Richard and Ryan left before the lights had been turned back on.

“They’re going to the bars,” Jeremy said.

“Around here?”

“Hampstead,” Jeremy said. “There are no gay bars in Alden.  Are you heading back home?”

“I think so,” Ben said.

“Come and walk with us,” Jeremy said. “We’re heading in the same direction as you.”

Arturo had ridden his bike to the Center office and wheeled it alongside them as they walked up the avenue.  Arturo was quiet and let Jeremy do the talking.  Jeremy carried a large wicker chair upside down over his head.

“It’s easier to carry this way,” Jeremy said. “Did you like the movie?”

 “Yeah,” Ben said.  “I didn’t see it when it was released.”

“Enjoy it,” Jeremy said. “They show the same movies over and over every Thursday night.  You have this, Parting Glances, Longtime Companion, and My Beautiful Launderette.  That’s about it for the men.  The women have it worse, they only have Desert Hearts.  The good news is they usually show the films in a room at the campus center so you won’t have to trek out here every week.”

“Yeah,” Ben asked. “I’m surprised the UGLBA office is so far out of the way.”

“No,” Jeremy said from underneath his wicker helmet. “The UGLBA is a student group, the office is in the Student Union.  That’s where everybody hangs out. This place is administrative. Sabra Gould runs it.  She lobbied for it after some homophobic incidents a few years back.”

“I’d always assumed this school was more tolerant,” Ben said.

“A myth,” Jeremy said. “The same shit happens here as everywhere else.  Things grew worse since AIDS.”

“Straight people,” Arturo muttered.  Arturo was from Argentina and his face was heavily lined.  He looked older than 26.

“Stop,” Jeremy said.

“You’ve said the same thing,” Arturo responded.  Jeremy shot him a look and Arturo was quiet.

“Do you have work-study?” Jeremy asked.

 “Yeah, I do,” Ben said. “I’ve been trying to find a job all week.  Do you have one to offer?”

“Sabra hires work study students at the Center, you should apply,” Jeremy said.  “It’s better than the usual work study shit like working the library circulation desk until midnight or washing dishes.”

“Maybe,” Ben said. “It’s an idea.”

 “Do it,” Jeremy said.  His face was covered by the chair now.  Ben took the opportunity to look down at Jeremy’s lower half; he had nice legs. “It won’t be too hard of a job.”

“Here comes the bus,” Arturo said.

 Jeremy took the chair off his head. “You’ll come to the social tomorrow?  That’s when you’ll really get to meet everybody,” Jeremy said. “Tonight was just a prelude.”

“I’ll try to be there,” Ben said.

“You’d better. Ninth floor of the Campus Center at three,” Jeremy said. “See you.” He turned the chair sideways through the narrow door and walked in. Arturo waved as he struggled to pull the bike up the narrow bus stairwell.

Ben watched the bus pull away and continued walking down the road back to the dorm.  He had to call Dave as soon as he got home. 

Chapter 13: He Redux

He

He figured that if he sat in the most remote corner of the dining hall, there was a smaller chance of anybody seeing him.   He felt invisible, but he liked it.  Things weren't going so badly.  Everybody on the floor was nice, even those who had been there last year when he had his little meltdown.  Nobody made him feel uncomfortable or ill at ease, but he still hesitated from joining in with them when they were gathered in their rooms or going to meals together.  No, not for him.  Not yet. 

His mother had called him the night after Rose had dropped him off.

“You’re okay?” she asked.

You ought to know ma, you’re the nurse.

“I’m fine,” he said. “I’m just getting back into things.”

“It’s not too weird?”

“No,” he said. “In fact, it’s easier than I’d thought.”

“And the team?  You’re going back?”

He’d let a pause go through, to let her know that he had considered everything.

“I thought yes but now I’m not sure,” he said. “I’ll know in a few weeks.”

“All right,” she said. “Just make sure to call at least once a week. Leave a message if I’m not home.”

“Yep.”

“I love you,” she said.

“You too,” he said and hung up.  If he didn’t call once a week, she’d drive to campus herself to check up on him.  That was overdoing it.  He hadn’t even done anything last semester; there’d been no suicide attempt.  He just felt down and had a hard time finishing things.  From what he’d seen after two years at school was that students broke down all the time; he was a mild case.

He’d been sitting at the table for nearly twenty minutes and his food, which he had barely touched, had grown cold.  Who knew where all the time had gone.  He could go back for seconds but it didn’t make sense to waste what he had.  Besides, hot or cold, food didn’t have much flavor to him anymore.  But it was also a shame to waste it.  He dug in. 

The plan was just to stay invisible for just a short time longer.

Chapter 12: Meeting of the Minds

The Nicotine Creed

Maria felt as though she was being watched.  She stayed put on the bench by the campus pond and looked around for anybody she might know until she spotted the guy lying on the grass a few yards away.  

He nodded at her. 

She nodded back. 

He stood up and came toward her.  Maria reached into her purse and fingered her pepper spray.  The guy appeared harmless, after all he was smiling, but you never know.

“I’m sorry,” the stranger said. “But I’m desperate.  Do you have an extra smoke?” He had a British accent.

Maria took her hand off the spray. “Sure.”  Since when have I become the campus supplier?

He didn’t look to be the Clove type, so she handed him the last American Spirit she found at the bottom of her bag.  This guy was definitely hotter than the majority of guys on campus, especially those from the eastern part of the state with their harsh accents. 

“Thanks so much,” the guy said a minute later, exhaling. “I was suffering withdrawal.  I’m low on cash until next week”

“I always carry an emergency pack on me,” Maria said. 

“Good idea, the simplest things never occur to me,” he said.  He held out his free hand. “I’m Cedrick, and what’s the name of my savior?”

“Maria,” she said.

“Maria,” Cedrick repeated. “Perfect.”

“Why perfect?”

Cedrick grinned. “It just is.”

Don’t I Know You?

Ben was lost, which was something of a relief.  If he couldn’t find this Diversity Center, he couldn’t go to the movie, but he could still tell Dave that he’d at least tried.   I can go back to my room, Ben thought, I could just go back to my room and not go and maybe I’ll go to something else later on.  I don’t know if I can do this …

#

Ryan Gibson frowned as he approached the  Dickinson residential area.  What had Sabra been thinking putting the Center office way out here? This was where all the freshman and jocks wanted to live.  As a result it was crowded, noisy, chaotic (there was a rumor that a cow had once been forced to the top floor of one of the towers and then thrown off the balcony) and the site of a few homophobic incidents over the years.  Just the other night, Tobe had recounted the story about a bottle of cranberry juice being thrown at him from a high-rise window during the short time he lived there.  Tobe’s hair had been his fire engine red at the time.  He moved out to a new residential area a week later.

And here it was, only the first week of school, and one of the big Dickinson guys was staring at him as Ryan walked by.  Ryan cursed himself for making the trek out here to see a movie that he and just about every other member of the UGLBA had seen ten times.  Ryan glared back at the guy and continued walking.

Then he heard the footsteps coming up behind him.

Why did I wear my “Gay Power” t-shirt, what was I trying to prove?

“Hey!” the guy called.

Ryan turned around. “Excuse me?”

 “You’re going to Crane House, right?”  the guy asked.

Ryan realized who it was.  This wasn’t a jock out to flatten him; it was the guy who’d come up to the UGLBA table on the concourse. 

Son of a gun.  Macon Brigham had been right. 

“Hi,” the guy said. “I’ve been wandering for ten minutes trying to find the office.”

“This way,” Ryan said, leading him across a small parking lot to a set back alcove where the office was almost hidden except for one unmistakable feature. 

The front door was painted lavender.